I am feeling really uninspired this week, but I made a promise to myself and to my readers that I would make a post every week, so I'm going to stick to that promise and come through for y'all.
I have a confession though, I wrote this post a while back and it’s cute and light hearted and I figured it would be a perfect entry for today:
The first boy I ever loved was in his 20s and I was five. I know what you’re all thinking. How can a 5 year old love a 20 year old.
IT WAS SERIOUS, at the time at least, LOL! He clearly didn’t reciprocate the feelings guys, c’mon he wasn’t a pervert. No, it was a crush more or less and he was shadowing my dad for a little while when I was little. My dad is an occupational therapist and this was back in the good old days when kids could still go to work with their parents in health care. My dad just so happened to take us to work with him and I just remember he (20 yo dude) would bring me things like pizza and take me to Mcdonalds for lunch, and we would drink coffee together in the mornings, because those were our “dates”. He was babysitting, I was falling in love.
My mom sold Mary Kay back then and I’ll never forget the day my heart was broken for the first time. He showed up to our house to pick out some Mary Kay for his gf (me obviously) so I went up to him like the bold 5 YO girl my momma raised me to be and I said “so what ya buying for me” and he laughed and when I didn’t, he looked at me very seriously and said, “this gift is not for you, it’s for my girlfriend, *insert name here*” So I just stood there puzzled for a minute because I just didn't understand. He had to repeat himself. This is probably the day I lost all faith in men.
I just remember immediately breaking out into tears because my heart literally split in two. Of course I was 5 and could not comprehend what was actually happening to me, but it had to be a broken heart, or possibly just a heart crack. Hearts are fragile, especially when they are 5. He hugged me and told me I was too little to be his gf but that I could certainly help him pick out her present because he knew I had good taste, and so I slipped right back into my cheerful mode and sucked those crocodile tears back up so I could help him pick out her gift!
He never followed in my dads footsteps he did marry that girl and they have a beautiful family. I doubt he will ever know that I still remember this like it was yesterday, of course I would never, ever bring it up, bc it’s nothing but a 5 YO crush— and I don’t really think it ruined all my trust with men; that was just me being dramatic— but I love that memory, it’s funny and probably one of my favorites. RG, the first boy who ever "broke my heart"💔
A picture of me as a child pretty sure was around 5 YO— could be a little older. Rocking those self-cut bangs and kid mullet! 💕🤪
--
I just wanted to send a special message out to my readers who might be going through a tough time right now, those who might feel like your life is on autopilot and you're just taking things moment by moment to get through the day. I know all too well how that feels and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It takes a lot of my energy to come up with these post some days, but it's the one space in my life where I truly have the freedom to share my heart and my mind. I appreciate your presence here, and your dedication to reading my blogs. Sending love to you all.
I hope you all have a great rest of your day.
Until Next Time,
xoxo
SLG
Comments