Body Positive

I love my body, most days.

but let me tell you, it has always been a struggle for me. I have always been the type who gets hung up on vanity and comparing myself to other beautiful women with bodies that I feel like are better than mine- I started my period when I was 10, and then came

these massive breasts- I was probably a C cup by the time I was in junior high- and by the time I reached high school i was a full blown double D- wearing two sports bras everyday and suffering from indentions in my shoulders from My Boulder holders keeping the girls up.

I never had an eating disorder, but I came

close to that when I was in undergrad and became obsessive about counting my macros.

Whats really sad is that the most I’ve ever weighed in my life is 145 lbs and that was before I got sober and just packed on weight from all the beer I was guzzling down night after night.

I have worked really hard to get where I am with my shell, to love and accept her belly folds and thigh cellulite- I dont even notice the “chicken fat“ by My armpits anymore and I’ve stopped Worrying about the “pudge“ that hangs over my belly. I’m actually pretty fortunate because I won the lottery genetically- it doesn’t take long for me to lose weight and really doesn’t take much maintenance to keep it off, though I do work hard to keep a nice physique- and Ive had many a family member and friend get onto me for talking negatively in regards to my body, and I understand why now, because no matter where we are, or what we look like in this present moment— our bodies are a beautiful shell for our souls and should be treated with love, kindness, and respect.

I have learned that if I’m unhappy with something on the outside, I should try to

get to the bottom of it and fix it the best way I know how, without depriving myself of good foods and bad foods too, some days — I am a firm believer in eating the cake or the Oreos or the tiramisu, after all wouldn’t you rather die happy with that sweetness on your tongue then live in misery from deprivation.

I have also learned that going to the gym is soooo good for me- it helps my mental stress, calms me down, and gives me something to be proud of when I look in the mirror and I see results.

There is no human being on this planet capable of helping you see how beautiful you truly are except for you, if you don’t see yourself in a beautiful light- then chances are you’re just like I was so many years ago, cursing my body and wishing it were different instead of accepting the things about her that can’t change and changing the things that I can.

I love her now, all the curves, dimples, hair, big saggy titties, creases (some of them— I get botox in my face to prevent wrinkles), but in the morning when I wake up- I look in the mirror and I love and accept and am grateful for the body reflecting back at me, its the one that cares for the elderly, holds children, kisses family members cheeks, waves hello to strangers, gets turned on by sexxxy men, and hugs family members tightly. Everything about me is perfect, in all of It’s imperfection- and working towards having this image of myself has taken a lot of hard work, but it is worth it, bc I could go the rest of my life without being told I’m beautiful— I know that I am, it radiates out from inside of me and seeps into my pores and screams at the roof tops.

YOU ARE PERFECT JUST AS YOU ARE— I think learning to love and appreciate the inside truly plays a role in how you see yourself on the outside —

so start there and let the beauty within you “pour out like Light, like light, like answering the sun”

I think the most important insight to take away from this post is that we ALL struggle with our own physical insecurities. I have friends who are super skinny and whose bodies I wish I had and come to find out, they wish they wish they had the body of someone else, too- or just something different— so because of that I have learned that it’s not our place to go around and just say things like “but you’re beautiful” “but you don’t have to worry about this“ blah, people will always see themselves the way they want to see themselves until they have a mental/emotional change in the way they view their bodies. It is a very personal journey. I also believe that if social media is hindering you more than helping you on your journey you should do what you need to do in order to help yourself. I unfollow people who aren’t healthy for me, bc at the end of the day I choose what I allow to influence my energy.

I also try not to project my insecurties on people around me anymore. I used to be REALLY bad about saying things like “I’m so fat” and I had a few come to Jesus moments with some Friends and family members who told me like it was about me saying that and how it made them feel. That was super enlightening to me and so now I just say “I feel bloated“ or ”I know I’m not fat, but I feel that way today“— bc we all have our days, men included Im sure.

so these are my take aways:

1. learn to love yourself from the inside out

2. if it’s something you can change, change it

3. if it’s something you cant change, learn to love and embrace and accept it

4. be kind to others, we are all on our own personal journey to loving ourselves

5. be careful what you say about yourself and who you say it around, but mainly speak kind things to yourself bc you are always beautiful no matter where you are in your journey

6. filter out ANYTHING that makes you feel bad about yourself

If you need some tips or suggestions for anything youre going through my inbox is always open!

xoxo

Until Next Time,

Mishako