Church

I went to church today.

I've been and still am a little angry with God. I don't understand why he took my daddy away.

That's just where Im at right now, but I think of my daddy and his unwavering faith, even through all of his worldly suffering. He never lost faith in God. I used to find it really remarkable, that this man who has suffered so much could still believe that his God loved him.

The service today ended up being about our unwavering faith through struggles, and how the Holy Spirit rushes in during these times in our lives and refines us. Turns an olive into Olive oil, uses our struggle to make us better for him.

I used to talk to my dad a lot about God, my feelings towards him, how some days I woke up and didn't really have much faith at all, and he would always remind me that you only needed a little faith to hang on. Oh you of little faith. Tested through the struggles of life.

The pastors name was Casey. I know my daddy went by his initials KC, but when I heard him say his name out loud, I teared up thinking of my daddy.

I love how God uses people and things to give us reminders that they love us. It brings me a lot of joy to know I'll get to see my daddy again. I'm going to keep holding onto that.

I walked in angry. I left crying and hugging Casey and telling him what the Holy Spirit laid on my heart. I know inevitably that God will be the only one who can carry me through this darkness.

I love you my daddy.