Don’t Settle.

I’m 30. I turn 31 in March and the longer I go through life as a single person, I know it will only get harder for me to settle, so I guess that means I should just opt for the next best thing that comes along, right? And I should stop being picky and just settle for a 7/10 instead waiting for the 12, right???? WRONG.

I made a friend the other night and we were just chatting and he said, wait until you find someone who is just as consumed with you as you are with them, and don’t worry he’s out there and you’ll find each other, and when you do you will be willing to sacrifice certain things you said you never would bc in the end, it will be worth it, if you love one another enough. Then he went on to list a number of things that I shouldn’t put up with... which i will refrain from posting here because I don’t see the point in that. Perhaps we can save it for another day.

I’ve been on countless dates and had the opportunity to meet guys from many different walks of life and if they were meant to be in my life to stay, then things would just work out, and if I feel in my gut that holding on is not worth it, then letting go is the best option for both parties, even if they are a good guy, sometimes the long term compatibility doesnt meet the criteria I need in order for me to be willing to make sacrifices for that person.

Being good, amazing even, doesnt automatically mean “this is the right fit“. It’s like going to buy a new pair of jeans— the size is right, it’s a good designer, and they look really good on the hanger, but when you slip them on they make your butt look funny, or the waist line has too much space in the back, so you don’t buy them bc you know it won’t be worth the investment.

I guess the point Im trying to emphasize with this post is that just because you’re lonely or want to share your life with someone does not mean you should be willing to sacrifice for someone who isn’t compatible with you. That’s not only unfair to you, but also very selfish and unfair to the person that you’re dragging along just because you’re alone. I mean just read that again and pretend that you’re the one who’s being strung along and then tell me how that makes you feel?

I went to an AA convention one time and an al-anon speaker was on the podium telling her story about her experience with al-anon and her journey to finding the right one. I was sitting there and had just recently gone through another “relationshit” heart crack and I remember her talking about how God used Al-anon to lead her to her perfect and wonderful husband And even though it came later in life, it was all worth the wait. She had these words of wisdom to share:

“So if you’re single and you find yourself getting lonely. Here’s my advice to you, Don’t settle! Don’t settle! Don‘t settle!“

DONT SETTLE. DONT DO IT. He/she is out there and you’ll find one another and it will be worth the wait when you do.

until next time,

xoxo

Shelf Life Girl