Heartbreak

So because I have a huge test coming up I have been studying pretty much non-stop except for to take breaks to spend time with family and to keep my sanity for the past week —

and bc of this it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I have not taken the time to put effort into writing a blog post for the week, so because of this I would like to share a poem I wrote a while back, that I really love.

“It came over me like a blanket in the night. I didn’t notice it at first because it crept up on me very quietly. Not fully acknowledging it carrying me away, I kept to my room. I slept all day and cried out in pain all night. That melancholy would be my new best friend. I nursed it like a new born baby. 1, 2, 3 days of darkness. After the third I stopped counting. It was blue, everything in my perception was the color of a deep night shade. Navy. I remember the feeling in my heart. The most visceral pain. My chest was tight and it felt like my heart was split in two. The only way I ever numbed this in the past was the bottle. So this was heartbreak. This was what those people were talking about. I let my tears flow, cleansing me into a new spring within. I’d wake up better tomorrow I’d say. Tomorrow came and she was very red, hot with anger, resentment, regret. I cursed myself, and took my pain out on others. I allowed this rouge to be my main source of energy, disaster. There were certain consequences when dealing with others. It was comforting though, because I was on the cusp of orange and then light. I could feel it. The blood surged through my veins and pumped my fury. There would be an end soon. I carried this dragon to the next Tuesday, and then when she left me, I felt stale. Grey. Boring. Monotone. Hopeless, but still fighting. Acting in spite of feeling. Stretched my hands out towards the light creeping into my soul. Warmth and beauty swallowed me. Then entered my heart. This was it. I had survived. I did survive, and then there was acceptance and finally peace. These were yellow and finally the brightest white light you could ever imagine. This is where you feel infinite, the closest to God. This is when you tap into something far greater than yourself. It is a true spiritual awakening, and though I did eventually come back down, I rode this pink cloud all the way back to earth, and kept the memory of it, to tackle the next heartbreak.”

hope you all are well! be back next week full stop! wish me luck! 💕🥰

until next time!

xoxo,

SLG