It's been a little bit since my last post. I apologize for that, life has just been crazy lately.
For those who need a "recap". I was told I had 30 days to find a new job at the beginning of August, so at the end of the month, I was no longer employed. I honestly went in full-blown panic mode after being told, and I don't know if any of you out there have lost your job, but it's a punch in the gut like no other, even if it isn't your fault. It wasn't my fault by the way. If you would like details please reach out to me personally, as I am not at liberty to discuss them on the internet.
HOWEVER, even amidst the craziness in my life, I still managed to keep my head screwed on straight, and started searching for a new job immediately. Finding a new job is a process though, even if you land the interview, you're not guaranteed to 1) get an offer and 2) to even want to work for the place you're interviewing with. It's as much an interview for you as it is for them, so for about 40ish days I felt like my life was spinning out of control, you know that feeling right? When you have NO IDEA where you're going, what you're doing, and what is going to happen in your life. Yeah it's a crazy feeling, makes ya feel off ya hinges, and I'm the type of person who LOVES flying by the seat of her pants, but I love that almost as much as I love having a plan and a routine in my life. I'm kind of like a big kid, in that routine and order offer me inner peace, so that feeling of uncertainty was giving me a lot of sleepless nights. Thank God for family and friends. I seriously just have so much gratitude in my heart right now.
Here's the GOOD news: I have a new job, I start October 10, I will be the lead Pediatric Occupational Therapist at The SPOT Therapy in Gulfport, MS. I am SO excited to join Jessica Carter and help to grow/promote her business that she just started this year. I cannot wait to get started. I just want you all to know that I was DISTRAUGHT about the idea of leaving the Gulf coast of MS. I was happy to go out and adventure somewhere new, but I also knew I would have a terrible sense of longing to be back here. It was definitely a hard place to be, and huge cause for my worry/stress.
I remember talking to my friend Haley about how I was feeling, and mind you I didn't know of ANY pediatric jobs in the MS gulf coast area that really seemed like a good fit for the career path that I would like to go down, as most jobs are M-F/ 8-5 and give you limited time to pursue your other career dreams. Anyways, so Haley asked me if I had prayed about it, of course I told her I hadn't, so I asked God to guide me and to lead me in the right direction, of course you guys know what happened next? As soon as I had that moment of surrender, all of the doors just opened. Within a week I had a job, a place to live, and I didn't have to leave the Gulf coast of MS. It's just a testament to God's truth in that he really does give us the desires of our heart, more on that later.
In the mean time, I am soaking up all of the time off I have in between jobs. I have taken a trip to Florida to spend time with my sister and my baby niece Ellie, I have driven to North Carolina and was able to be at my nephew AEgon's first birthday and spend time with my brother, his wife and their adorable children, I am going to spend some time with my best friend in Hattiesburg-- she's about to make a big move with her family to Birmingham as her husband just accepted a new job around that area, very excited for them. I am going to get to be at my nephew's Charles' first birthday, I got to take my granny to get a pedicure, and I've just had all of this time off to rest, recoup, soak up time with my precious friends Haley and Anna, and all of my family so that I can love on all of my babies (you guys know I'm Tia KoKo of the year) and I could not have done ANY of this had I not LOST MY JOB. I am GRATEFUL I lost my job, that's right I said GRATEFUL.
I started doing a bible study with Haley two nights ago and the focus is how God turns our mourning into dancing, and when we are in the midst of our sorrows, it's hard for us to see past that, but there's always something beautiful coming from our suffering, if we just open our eyes, and surrender, we will be able to see it. Examples for me are, My sobriety: I am so grateful I ran my car into a tree 11 years ago, for I would not have the life I have today if I hadn't. I am so grateful I lost my job, for I would not have been given this beautiful time off, and found an amazing job opportunity that I have now. I am so grateful for all of the "bad" things that have happened to me, because in the end they bring more growth and joy into my life.
I hope you take some time to reflect on your life after reading this post and find gratitude in all of your life's circumstances, that you may find joy at the end of your suffering/mourning and see God's hand in it the entire way. Trust me, I fall short so many times of allowing God to do his work in my life, but as soon as I'm willing to surrender, I am so so free of all of that yucky stress I put on myself. People say things like "it's going to be okay" "you're going to get through this" "you'll find a new so and so" "you'll heal from this and see it's purpose later" but we don't like to hear those things in the midst of our sorrows, we don't like to relinquish control on our outcomes, we don't like to let God have control because our EGO says "I can do better", but if there's anything I have learned in my 11 years of continuing surrender, it is most definitely this When I make a list of all of the things I want for MYSELF, I ALWAYS sell myself short. Read that again, it doesn't say SOMETIMES, it says ALWAYS, but God always knows the plans he has for me and he knows my heart better than I know my heart, and he knows the desires I have, so my list always pales in comparison to the plans he sets out for my life. I am going to end with a bible verse that has gotten me through the last half of this year, after my year of seemingly endless shit storms:
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
He knows the plans, we just have to learn to let go and trust him with our lives.
Oh and here's another one of my faves:
"Let GO and Let God"
Until next time,
xoxo Mishako
PS Next week I am going to be diving into SEX and dating. I know, it's not what you think. I am kind of fed up with our dating culture now. The quick smash, the lack of interest in getting to know a person for who they are b4 feeling entitled to their body. I just REALLY feel the need to discuss this. I might even bring in some dialogue from a male perspective, so just stay tuned. <3
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