Keep your wits about you...

Ladies,

I want to take a break from writing about dates gone bad, and giving dating advice and open up the floor to discuss the topic of KEEPING YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU because I feel as young women it is easy to be taken advantage of in this world, and to be fooled/charmed into believing someone is he who he says he is, when he's really just living a double life, or is a wolf in sheep’s clothing1- and he has a seriously bad ulterior motive.

I am touching on this topic due to real life events that took place in my life last night.

This all took place in downtown Memphis, TN.

My friend and I decided we wanted to go out and have some fun, and we had plans to meet up with some of my other friends later on that night, but not until way later, so we got all dolled up and left around 845 PM to have dinner first and then we went downtown and parked the car in a parking garage. We then proceeded to walk to our first destination of the night , Tin Roof, because we heard it was a good place to hear live music and people watch, so we decided to do this while we waited to hear from my friends on their ETA. My friend messaged me and said they would meet us at another club on Main Street called Rumba at around 11, so at about 1055 we decided to leave Tin Roof and head that way. We opted for walking because it was only 0.4 miles away.

As soon as we left Tin Roof we headed down Beale, and as we were walking on the side walk, I had this weird feeling in my gut like someone was watching me, so I looked around and noticed this guy about 2-3 feet to the left of my friend (we were walking side by side, arms linked)-- anyways once I noticed him I kept an eye on him, and when I realized he wasn't letting up or breaking away from our pace, I just knew he was following us, so I decided to tell my friend. We stopped and pretended to look at something on the side of the street, and once we thought we had shaken him, we decided to keep on trekking.

We continued down busy Beale street and made a left turn onto Main Street, which ended up being very secluded, and pretty bare, maybe a person or two here and there. We walked about 0.2 miles down, and occasionally would turn around, and never noticed anyone behind us the entire way. We finally made it to Rumba and were talking to some people outside, inquiring on the vibe inside and how much the cover was, and they were filling us in, when my heart started pounding in my chest, because just as we were getting the skinny on the place,

THE SAME GUY THAT WAS FOLLOWING US BEFORE THAT I THOUGHT WE HAD SHAKEN, POPPED UP OUT OF NOWHERE, AS IF HE HAD BEEN FOLLOWING US THE ENTIRE TIME!!!

I nudged my friend so that I could let her see that he had followed us here, too. We were both panicking, so we filled in the girls that we were talking to about the situation. Once we pointed him out to them, they had their eyes on him as well, and in that moment he was half way past the bar with his back facing us, so the girls told us to go ahead and leave while he wasn't looking. As soon as we turned our heels to leave, they came running after us and said, "hey y'all stop, y'all stop, he's following you still". They told us that as soon as we turned to leave, he immediately turned his heel and started following us again, so they went inside the bar and told the bar owner what was going on, and we ended up being escorted inside by the bouncer. The bar owner told us to stay there until the perpetrator paid and came inside, and sure enough, he followed us inside, paid his cover and came inside. Well, while he wasn't looking, the bar owner, bouncer, and a gaggle of girls escorted us out. They walked with us almost more than halfway to our car and we made the decision to retire for the night after that since we were both so shaken up! We did make it safely to the car and home— That is hands down one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me, and let me tell you... there have been some scary things happen to me in my life, but nothing as scary as being stalked by someone and not even realizing it. I mean he was stalking us like a mountain lion stalks their prey...lurking in the shadows. I have NO IDEA what his intentions were last night, but I know they could not be good. So here are some tips for you ladies, just some advice for when you're looking like a 10/12 and going out with your girls:

-1 Always travel in a group-- I mean my friend and I were discussing this last night. We were so naive to the reality of big city life (we are both from

small towns in Mississippi) and how dangerous it really can be if you're by yourself or just one other female, bc where we are from you don't have to worry about stuff like this.

-2 Know your surroundings-- I feel like this is a no brainer-- but I cannot tell you how many times I've become "comfortable" and stopped really paying attention to what's going on around me.

-3 Don't accept anything from strangers-- This goes back to what our parents always used to tell us growing up "Don't talk to strangers"-- don't accept ANYTHING from someone you don't know... no drinks, no money, no rides. The world is a crazy place, too crazy to be accepting gifts from strangers, sad, but true.

-4 ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT-- I know I harped on this in the last post but seriously-- this rule does NOT just apply to romantic relationships, this applies to a lot of decisions/situations/people that flow through your life. If something gives you a weird feeling in your gut HEED THAT WARNING. DO NOT JUST PRETEND IT ISN'T THERE.

-5 Stay in a busy/crowded area-- This is just my two cents from last night's scenario. We didn't know the area well, and we shouldn't have just been walking around naively like we were so safe, when we didn't know where we were and if the area was okay to people galavanting alone. Clearly walking down a not so well lit street, on our own, was not the greatest idea we could have made, but even so, in any situation, like let's say you're meeting a guy off of a dating app for the first time a) do not let him pick you up or meet you at your house. b) make sure to meet him in a neutral CROWDED place. c) do not give him your number or add him on social media, until you have met with him enough and vetted him out. Guard your heart and guard your life.

-6 If you sense danger, inform people around you-- Do not try to harbor this alone. Tell people, keep people informed, there are more good people in the world then there are bad, and chances are if you let people in on the circumstances, they will be willing to help you out of the situation, much like our new friends we made last night. I am thanking God for them right now.

-7 Drink responsibly-- I don't drink, nor do I partake in any kind of recreational drug use, but I know a lot you ladies probably do (drinking hopefully not drug use lol), that's okay, just make sure you don't consume so much alcohol that you can't control your actions-- because this makes you an easy target for someone like the guy who was following us last night. If we had been drunk (we were both sober) he could have taken advantage of us much easier. If he had attacked/attempted to abduct us last night, he would NOT have gotten us without a fight, and I imagine it would have been a good one between the two of us and him. Being sober minded, and having full motor control is so beneficial when it comes to defending yourself, so please, please, please, drink responsibly.

**8 Get a weapon, take self defense lessons-- I will more than likely be purchasing either a hand gun and get a conceal carry permit, or I will be getting a knife that I can hide in my bra strap, after what happened to me last night, I don't think pepper spray will cut it, not if you're dealing with more than one of those creeps.

That last one is totally just a suggestion, but I still 100% stand by all of these.

Alright ladies, that's all I've got for now. I'm still trying to get over being traumatized from last night's events, so please be safe out there! We live in a scary world, and you just NEVER KNOW WHO SOMEONE IS UNTIL YOU JUST KNOW. So don't just guard your heart, but keep your guard up in every facet of your life until you know you can trust someone.

Take the necessary steps/precautions when going out, and be safe.

Until next time,

xoxo

Shelf Life Girl