Life is short, but sweet for certain.

I finally took the plunge and changed my domain (the link to the website) and we are full on moore happy vibes. I have been TALKING about doing this for a while now, and the timing just seemed right, so I went ahead and committed, so here we are.

I want to set the scene for you all as I'm typing this blog, it's a beautiful day here in Gulfport, MS and I can't help but feel an immense amount of gratitude for my life. I'm currently sitting on the trampoline in my little sister and her husband's back yard, and listening to the sounds of nature and enjoying the beautiful weather.

Yesterday I woke up feeling some type of way about a certain situation, second guessing whether or not I made the right call, (because that's what over-thinkers do esp with feelings involved), and I know now, that it was definitely for the best. There are times in my life when I put way too much worry in the wrong things, and then suddenly, as if he planned it this way, God slaps me in the face with something that makes me realize, my current worries are minuscule in the long run, or perhaps I should shift my focus onto greater things and stop using up energy to worry about those things that are just not worth my time and energy.

My uncle has been sick for some time now, and has been keeping us updated on the current plan of care, how he's feeling, doctor's visits, etc etc, and last night he updated us on the staging of his cancer. We knew a while back that he was originally diagnosed with a mild form of cancer, and so of course we all sighed with relief as we knew this would be manageable, the doctors could surgically remove the cancer, he could do a few rounds of chemo therapy and all is well right? Then things took a turn for the worse, and he just started feeling really, really sick. He eventually got an appointment at MD Anderson, and they restaged him and now things are looking much worse. I think he has known for a little while, but didn't want to tell us until he was ready.

I did a lot of things wrong yesterday. I burnt the taco meat, I gave away too much of my energy thinking of something I need to let go of, and I stayed over too late at a friend's house and ended up being late to cook dinner. I'm hard on myself, I have always been hard on myself, I think a lot of people don't realize that about me, but the whole "I am my own worst critic" it was written specifically for people like me. I am hard on myself because that is the only way I know how to make myself into the best version of me that I can possibly be, but when you hear the news that your best uncle, the life of the party, the heart of the family get togethers, the bad ass tug boat captain, the best teller of poopoo beaudreux jokes, is really, really sick, well nothing about yourself, your thoughts, your worries, none of that really matters anymore, because suddenly you remember how much bigger life is than just...you.

So I just allowed myself to collapse onto my little sister's kitchen floor and I just cried, because that's the only way I knew how to process the news of hearing that my favorite uncle is laying in a hospital bed in Houston, alone, and fighting a potentially terminal disease (thanks a lot stupid pandemic --to the alone part). I just let it out and when I was done, I went into gangster mode cleaning the kitchen, singing "Favorite Things" at the top of my lungs, and then took my ass to the gym.

I woke up today and I decided there's no sense in dwelling on the sadness of it all, and instead for my Uncle, I will try my best to truly appreciate each day that I am given. I am kind of in awe of God's timing to be honest, because before March and the Corona Virus, I didn't think I would be down here on the MS Gulf-coast, my uncle only being a 30 minute car ride away, in fact I had big plans of traveling the country and working my butt off to pay of my student loans, but now here I am several months later, still on the gulf coast and have been given several opportunities to go and spend time with him. I just think of that and I smile, because if I had done things "my way" I wouldn't have had all of this special time with my family, the ones I love the most.

I don't really have much prophetic to say besides that this is just another example in my life when A) God always knows better than I do and B) We should all learn to appreciate the moments in life we are given and the time we are given with the ones we love the most, because life is not a guarantee here on this earth. One minute you're here, and the next you could be gone, and that applies to those around you as well, so hug em tight. Appreciate their presence in your life, the beauty and joy they bring to it, savor it, soak it up, and try your best not to take anyone for granted, we really should all try to learn how to "Live like we're dying".

Thanks for continuing this journey with me, may it be full of magic, wander, and some damn good writing. Here’s to starting over!

All my love,

M.