Sometimes Opposites Don't Attract

I feel like I may have touched on this subject matter before, but maybe just not as in depth as I am about to now.

I want to discuss compatibility. I very recently went on a date with a guy who was so nice and really had his shit together, and I really, really wanted to like him, in fact I even tried to lie to myself that I could make it work, but the more I truly thought about it, the more I realized, we were so different, that if I were to continue trying to lie to myself, I would have ended up in a pretty miserable spot with someone who didn't share the same core values as me.

I will share with you what happened, this guy claimed that he really liked me, but on the same token made me feel really insecure about myself and my beliefs. We had gone on a few dates and one night after having dinner, we were sitting in his car as he was dropping me off, and we started talking about the future, and I opened up to him about a dream that I had that I felt like God had given to me, as if it were a prophesy for my future, and he laughed at me and said "there's no way that you believe that", and I was shook in that moment, because I absolutely did believe it to my core that God was speaking to me, and trying to guide me in the direction he would like my life to go. I say that with full confidence because this is not the first time I've had a prophetic dream, where God has very plainly showed up to guide me and give me an answer to his prayer.

So on the one hand you have this guy, I'll call him Mr. Skeptic, a very deep analytical thinker, and then on the other hand you have me, an emotionally intelligent thinker/empath. I looked at him and with all the seriousness I could muster I said "I do believe it to be from God, and I do believe that is what he wants me to do with my life. I don't know how quickly I will get there or how it's supposed to all fall into place, but I know that's where he wants me to end up" and he just chuckled and said "You're so silly, I guess I'll just start calling you Elijah, like the prophet". I know what y'all are thinking, "WHAT AN ASS HOLE!" and don't get me wrong, I was thinking the same thing in that moment, too, because I was truly hurt and offended by his response.

I don't know how yall feel about God and religion. I'm a Christian and my spiritual life is pretty grounded and deep rooted in those beliefs. I will say that him laughing at me offended me because he claimed to be a Christian, too, and I couldn't understand why or how he could laugh at my dream and still call himself a believer. I will tell you though, I thanked God for that moment, because it was then that I realized, we were NOT a good match, and we did NOT have a future, and I did NOT need to waste another ounce of my energy trying to spend time with this guy who was like the oil to my vinegar. God showed up for me that night in a big way because I had prayed for him to give me a sign or let me know if this guy wasn't the one, and I don't think he could have answered that any louder. HA.

I don't want to continue harping on that though--- what I want to say is this, He wasn't an asshole. He was just made differently from me. We were not compatible and trying to force something to work with someone who is so completely opposite of you just doesn't work sometimes. I think it's very important when going into a dating endeavor to find out your commonalities and your differences. I think it's especially important to focus on fundamentals like : spirituality, religion (and no these two are not the same), politics, and goals, because if you build a house on a shitty foundation, you're setting yourself up for disaster in the future.

I like to get the important things out of the way in the beginning, a lot of people tell me that it's not good to do that because it scares guys off, but here's my thought process...If it scares you off to talk about things like Jesus, the president, and how many children you want in the future, then please exit stage left and don't bother coming around me anymore because I am 31 YO and don't really feel like wasting one another's time because what that tells me is that you're not tracking where I am tracking so at the end of the day we are not at the same place and it will not work.

I know I think a lot with my feelings. It's a blessing and it's a curse, but I am grateful for every single gift God has given me because it makes me who I am. The empathetic, nurturing and encouraging woman who deserves a man who sees me and appreciates me for those qualities, and I want to be with someone who inspires me and motivates me, and vice versa, so that we can live a life of purpose pursuing our dreams together. That's a whole other topic in itself...does compromise have to involve forfeiting your dreams? I'll wait on that one, but for now I just want you single ladies (and males) to truly think about your purpose and your intent when you go into a dating situation, make sure what you want lines up with what they want, so you aren't wasting one another's time. Life is too short.

Also some house keeping in case you didn't see on my instagram story. I will remain here writing blogs about life and dating and all that jazz, while I work on my side project of doing a vlog or a podcast. I must admit I have enjoyed this baby of mine and would like to see where it takes me. Please reach out to me if you have topics you'd like me to discuss or anything at all. I am always open to listening and receiving information so that I can come up with stuff that helps you all. As always, thanks for your continued support!!

Until Next Time,

SLG