The After Date Text

I want to share more content, more often, that’s moore relatable. I know this blog has mostly been about dating, but it’s so hard to tell funny stories when I don’t go on dates often enough to have anything funny to say!!

I am going to stay true to my word and come through this week with ”after date text” post I promised last week (albeit a bit behind schedule, sorry) but first can I please tell y’all who I shared my bed with yesterday? No, it wasn’t a man (sorry to disappoint) it was a f*cking centipede!!! Yes, that’s right. I woke up to a tickle on my arm, and was startled when I realized it was none other than a 100 legged creepy crawling slinking away! UGH YUCk. I still have a hard time sleeping in my bed now. I digress.

So a couple of weeks back I asked the question on my instagram about ”after date text” expectations on both ends. I am always surprised by the responses as I’m always anticipating responses from the opposite sex more so than the females now, however, that wasn‘t the case this time. The guys were shy about answering this question, and I guess that really shouldn’t surprise me, because honestly it’s probably that you guys are just clueless and want me to tell you what most of us girls want and expect.

The reason why I chose this topic to discuss was because I recently went on a date with a guy and I talked to him about my blog and we somehow got on the subject of the after date text, and he began to tell me his point of view and how he generally doesn’t text the girl after the date until a couple of days later. I asked him if there was a reason why he decided to wait to text someone, and his response was that before he parts ways on the first date with someone, he always makes sure to tell them that he had a good time, and that they would hear from him soon, and he didn‘t really feel the need to reiterate that again. I sat there for minute thinking of how to respond to this because I do understand where he’s coming from, but at the same time, it’s really not about him, right? I felt like his way of looking at it was a little selfish and one-sided because some girls really need that immediate reassurance that everything went okay. I told him I was one of those girls. He then further explained that he has had girls go “psycho” on him over this, sending multiple texts and basically becoming irate over not getting a text sooner. This, I think, all goes back to a lack of communication and understanding, women require more reassurance, not as a necessity, but as a desire. I will be the first to tell you that I enjoy hearing that you had a good time, that you’d like to see me again, and I’d rather hear it sooner than later, that’s just how I operate. Now I cannot speak for everyone, but out of all of the ladies (and there were several) who responded to my post THEY ALL had the same expectations, and some of them are married to those guys who were willing to meet them.

I’ve always felt like, and have been told, that if a guy wants to talk to you, he will, and if he doesn’t, he won’t, so a guy who is waiting for 2 days to message you to tell you that they had a good time, might still be hooked up to the playstation playing all those bullshit games. He might be reading this, and that’s okay. I just need you to know that sometimes, even if that’s what YOU want to do, it’s not really about you. Girls are like flowers and they need to be watered. Now girls, when a guy doesn’t message you for two days, don’t go “psycho” and send him a stream of messages laying into him about everything under the sun. Practice some self control and reserve your self-respect and dignity and refrain from saying anything at all, that’s just not attractive, nor is it healthy, because if a guy truly wants to talk to you or make time for you, he will eventually do that, and if you don’t like his style of communicating, then you have every right to move on and date someone else, which BY THE WAY, we should really try to keep our options open, it’s dangerous to put everything in one basket (trust me, I know).

I guess the overall general consensus from girls on the after date text is that we want to hear from you at least by the next day if not sooner (that same night would be most ideal). Girls if he isn’t meeting the communication expectations that you have you have two options 1) cut him loose, 2) talk to him about said expectations in a grown up manner! There really is no straightforward answer here, just listen to your heart (both parties). There shouldn’t be any weird feelings or hesitation. When It’s right, you’ll more than likely just know.

Sorry for being a little delayed today! Hope you all have a great week! Happy early Independence Day!

Until next time,

xoxo

SLG