The pack lives on

It's been a whole month

It's crazy because other people are just going about their lives, and I'm stuck in this upside down world without you.

I don't feel as heavy as I used to, but I still feel like I'm walking waste deep in mud.

I went down a deep spiral 🌀 last night. Thinking of how I wish you were here, so many things are changing in my life and I have decisions to make and I have such a hard time making them without your advice and your input. You always knew how to be the reason in my panic. The best calm voice in the storm of my mind.

I have learned so much through losing you daddy. I have learned that life is so incredibly short and we TRULY just don't know. I have learned to respect you even more, through experiencing the heaviness of this loss... it amazes me that after all you suffered and after all that you lost, you kept your head held high and your spirits even higher and you just chose to spread joy. It's my favorite part of your story. That not only did you NOT give up, but that you smiled, laughed, spread joy and kindness, warmth, sunshine, loved with all of your heart and still gave us and the world your absolute best.

I remmeber every piece of advice you ever gave me. I cling to every profound statement you ever made. I will never take your love, your wisdom and your care for granted, so so so so grateful for the almost 34 years I was blessed to have you as my worldly father. What an astonishing example to look up to.

I will continue to face myself in the mirror everyday and learn from the woman I am today so I can be a better one tomorrow.

I will always say I love you before I say goodbye.

I will never fight with my siblings without making up before the sun goes down.

I will not ever drink again.

I will continue to wake up in the morning and give the world my absolute best even on the days when it's the hardest.

I will never take the people who love me for granted

I will never stop taking pictures and living my life to the fullest

I will never give up on my dreams and goals in life.

I am never not gonna dance again, that's what you taught me. Get up, keep on dancing.

I am so proud to be your daughter daddy. I will never stop talking about you and though your body has failed you, your spirit will live on, through the memories, through the words of my blog, through the stories we tell our children, through my hugs, through my kindness,

And lastly through the spirit of your wolf pack.

As you said to me once before,

"The pack lives on"

I love you my daddy.