You’re STILL single ?

I was going to write about something entirely different this week (the after date text) If you follow my Instagram you know what Im talking about bc I polled about it. But surprise, surprise, I changed my mind! (Don’t worry I’ll re-poll and talk about post date texting Next week) I decided to answer some questions I get asked frequently being 31 and single. Im sure if you’re as old as me, you can 10/10 relate.

As a 30 something single person like me, I bet you get these questions, too:

Why are you still single?

Well gee, if I knew the answer to this question, A) I would not be writing this blog, B) I probably wouldn't be single and C) I bet I would also be winning some award for solving the problem of world hunger.

Are you a lesbian?

Okay, Here's the deal, I am not attracted to women (no offense to my gay friends you know I love you). Just because I have not been successful at finding a decent man to date does NOT automatically mean that I am attracted to the same sex. Also, just because I have been burned many times over by males, doesn't mean that one day I will magically wake up and decide to like women. If I liked women, this blog would be about my failed attempts at finding the right female partner, but it's not. I hope this clears that up for anyone who wanted to ask me this question, but didn’t.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Please, PLEASE, do not go all asian nail salon on me and ask me if I have boyfriend one more time. I’m pretty sure when someone finally comes in and sweeps me off my feet everyone and their whole family will know it. The heavens will open up and the angels will sing and the world will all know there is, in fact, a God. When you finally see my facebook status change from single to in a relationship, then you will know, otherwise, just assume that I don't have one, and also assume that I am happy with that, because I am.

Are you planning to have kids?

Yes, this one actually does make me a little sad bc I have had some people make comments about how it might be hard to have them at my age, but I've always found twice as many people that are super encouraging about having children at an older age, and how more and more women are doing it these days. If you know me, then you know I have an infinite love for all children and so I really don't think my life in this world would be complete without becoming a mother. I've even decided that if it comes down to it, I will either adopt or find a sperm donor, and no I am not talking about a turkey basting sperm donor, or a tinder one night stand (not yet at least LOL)

Do you ever get lonely??

Of course I do. I get lonely every once and a while and I used to let that loneliness get the best of me. I think I’m much better now at being alone bc of the tremendous growth I have made in the self love department. Life is meant to be spent and shared with someone else, I truly believe that though, so of course there are moments when I find myself longing for a companion, I am human after all.

Will you ever settle down?

Let’s see, this is a tough one. If you know me, then you know that I suffer from what is called, wanderlust. I can’t pinpoint when this wanderlust started, I feel like Ive had it ever since I can remember. As a person with the spirit of adventure ingrained in her soul, it makes for staying in one place for too long very difficult. i like to tell people like this, I think as long as I’m settled in my soul, then wherever I go feels like home, and all the people I meet along the way, they become my family, and when it’s time to leave I carry them with me wherever I venture to next. But if we are talking about planting roots somewhere, I will do that one day when God says it’s time.

Are you afraid you’ll end up alone?

Yes and no. Yes, sometimes I do, but ultimately I remember that I’ll end up however the good Lord intends me to end up. I honestly want children more than I really want a husband, so I think I worry about that more than I worry about not having a life partner 😂😂😂.

Do you think your expectations are too high?

HELL NO! I have worked hard to be where I am and feel how I do about myself and I do not for one second think my expectations are too high. I just don’t think I’ve met the right person to meet them.

A side story that one of my friends told me and I love to reshare about having a friend with “too many expectations“

She said she had this friend who was older and still single that had been going on a journey of “finding herself“, anyways so this woman told my friend that she had made this list of all the things she wanted in a husband and prayed over it all the time and my friend said, “well let me take a look at it.” My friend said she took a look at the list and it was SUPER SPECIFIC, like down to accent, height, income, etc. She took a look at her friend and said “you’re crazy. This has got to be why you are still single, you have way too many specific expectations.“ her friend simply looked at her and said “well if he doesn’t meet these expectations, then I think I’d rather be single” My friend told me she wishes she could go back in time and open mouth insert foot because that same friend ended up meeting someone not even 3 months later that met every single expectation she had on her list. I tell this story for all my ladies out there who, like the woman in this story, have lists of expectations that seem silly and impossible, because if he’s out there and meant to come into your life, then he will, and you shouldn’t let what anyone says discourage you from setting standards and expectations that are seemingly impossible.

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These are the only questions I can think of but here are some things that as a single person can get pretty annoying:

When people say things like:

1)

“you’re still single? oh well that’s okay you’re so pretty and sweet you will meet someone”

Thanks, I haven’t been hearing this one since I was 19 or anything lIke that, LOL. Seriously stop pitying us when we tell you we‘re single. Most days we don’t care, I know I said earlier we do have our moments, and the people who love and care about me (mainly my sisters and my best friends) help me through those times. It’s just rude though to automatically assume that just bc our single life doesn’t look like your married/booed up life that we are miserable and sitting around and feeling sorry for ourselves a lot of times.

2)

“You want to have kids? Well you better get all of your traveling out now before you get married and have kids“

Here‘s the thing people, it’s fine that you have this mentality, if that’s how you see things, Cool! If you don’t want to travel with your children, by all means, DO YOU BOO, but I want my children to have experiences. I would rather drop money on trips to cool places then buy them fancy clothes, shoes, and gadgets. I want them to be able to experience different people, places, and things so their little minds and hearts will be open to everyone and everything that they can handle as they are growing and learning. Do I think this will be easy? HELL NO. Do I think crazy mishaps will happen while traveling? I fully expect them to. Children can be messy, fussy, inconsolable and uncontrollable, but watching them explore different parts of the world around them for the first time will probably make for some of the most beautiful and extraordinary moments. I don’t have kids of my

own yet, but I have a Godson and I plan on taking him on trips when he turns five. I want him to have cool memories he can look back on when he’s older and tell his friends about!

That’s all for now. What are some questions you receive as single person ?? Let me know your thoughts!! I’m front loading this post on the way to Eminence, MO. I hope you all have a wonderful evening! 😊 Oh yeah and Happy Father’s day to any of my readers who might happen to be fathers! ❤️ Hope you feel

celebrated and loved everyday of the year, and especially today!

Take care and stay safe! Until next time!!

xoxo,

SLG